This application letter is for the following position at the Ministry of Health (MOH) Singapore:
Job Title: Health Policy Analyst (Healthcare Infrastructure Delivery)
Job Description: You will plan and develop healthcare facilities for the two public sector healthcare clusters, including obtaining the necessary approvals, securing the sites, overseeing project implementation and budget utilization to ensure timely delivery of adequate cost-effective facilities to meet future healthcare needs.
Job Requirement: Good Honours Degree, strong analytical and interpersonal skills, resourceful and good organizational skills.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kenny Mok Chew Seng
38 Cashew Avenue
Singapore 671888
Phone: (65) 9731 0895
mokchewseng@gmail.com
6th Feb 2010
Ministry of Health
College of Medicine Building
16 College Road,
Singapore 169854
Dear Hiring Manager,
I am applying for the position of Health Policy Analyst (Healthcare Infrastructure Delivery), which I happened to chance upon during the NUS Career Fair 2010. I believe that this position is a good fit with my education, experience and career interests and I will be most delighted to join your team at the Ministry of Health.
I am currently a fourth year Bioengineering undergraduate in the National University of Singapore (NUS). Prior to joining NUS, I graduated from Hwa Chong Junior College with the Distinguished Scholar Award for my excellent GCE A Levels results. Recently, I also led a group of six as the project leader and my team emerged as the runner-up for a Biomedical Engineering Design competition to design a wrist prosthesis. We also won the Prestigious Director Award, which highlighted my capability in bringing about group cohesion and overseeing successful project implementation.
I am actively involved in co-curriculum activities in NUS and is currently the Chairperson of the NUS Students’ Union Computer-Based Learning Centre (NUSSU CBLC). Previously, I was also the Vice-Chairperson and Marketing Manager of NUSSU CBLC, in charge of liaising with various corporate sponsors for our club projects. During my freshman year, I was also the Publicity Head of NUS Bioengineering Club and served as the bridge between the school administration and the students. All these university assignments and projects have helped to forge my interpersonal and project management skills and have also given me invaluable experience in dealing with national and school authorities.
My previous working experience included working in Wallenius Wilhelmsen, an international ship services company, as a customer service officer in summer 2007. My job scope included liaising with the purchasers of global shipping vessels and our logistics and service department. During this stint, I managed to develop my communication skills while mingling with personnel from worldwide suppliers and port operators. During summer 2008, I also did an overseas internship in Tsinghua University (Beijing) as a research assistant. I was involved in the optimization of the existing Fluorescence Molecular Tomographic (FMT) systems with the implementation of evaluation tests and the analysis of scientific data. More recently, I was an Engineering Intern in a public-listed company, KS Energy Services and was actively involved in the management of a few key regional oil & gas supply projects. Through this attachment, I learnt about procurement of lead items, budgetary planning as well as project pipeline management in order to fulfill deadline objectives. I believe these skill sets will enable me to fulfill the requirements of a health policy analyst at MOH.
I am currently a fourth year Bioengineering undergraduate in the National University of Singapore (NUS). Prior to joining NUS, I graduated from Hwa Chong Junior College with the Distinguished Scholar Award for my excellent GCE A Levels results. Recently, I also led a group of six as the project leader and my team emerged as the runner-up for a Biomedical Engineering Design competition to design a wrist prosthesis. We also won the Prestigious Director Award, which highlighted my capability in bringing about group cohesion and overseeing successful project implementation.
I am actively involved in co-curriculum activities in NUS and is currently the Chairperson of the NUS Students’ Union Computer-Based Learning Centre (NUSSU CBLC). Previously, I was also the Vice-Chairperson and Marketing Manager of NUSSU CBLC, in charge of liaising with various corporate sponsors for our club projects. During my freshman year, I was also the Publicity Head of NUS Bioengineering Club and served as the bridge between the school administration and the students. All these university assignments and projects have helped to forge my interpersonal and project management skills and have also given me invaluable experience in dealing with national and school authorities.
My previous working experience included working in Wallenius Wilhelmsen, an international ship services company, as a customer service officer in summer 2007. My job scope included liaising with the purchasers of global shipping vessels and our logistics and service department. During this stint, I managed to develop my communication skills while mingling with personnel from worldwide suppliers and port operators. During summer 2008, I also did an overseas internship in Tsinghua University (Beijing) as a research assistant. I was involved in the optimization of the existing Fluorescence Molecular Tomographic (FMT) systems with the implementation of evaluation tests and the analysis of scientific data. More recently, I was an Engineering Intern in a public-listed company, KS Energy Services and was actively involved in the management of a few key regional oil & gas supply projects. Through this attachment, I learnt about procurement of lead items, budgetary planning as well as project pipeline management in order to fulfill deadline objectives. I believe these skill sets will enable me to fulfill the requirements of a health policy analyst at MOH.
All in all, I believe that I will be an asset to your organization as I have the tenacity to work cordially in a team and also to work independently when the occasion calls for it. I am inquisitive, creative and love to solve intriguing problems. I also particularly enjoy and have vast experience interacting with people from all walks of life. I will love to arrange a meeting with you to discuss further on my career aspirations and also to learn more about this opportunity. Please feel free to contact me anytime at your own convenience.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to talking to you.
Yours Sincerely,
Kenny Mok
Hi Kenny,
ReplyDeleteJust my two cents worth on your application letter.
1. I feel that the phrase "happened to chance upon" is not very suitable here. If you phrase it less passively, it may work better to your advantage. For example, you could say, "the position of ...., which caught my interest during the NUS Career Fair."
2. Regarding the Prestigious Director Award, you could probably elaborate more about it. A third party reading this may not be able to draw relevant links between a design project and a director's award.
3. It seems that you elaborated more about your positions as Vice Chairperson and Marketing Manager more than you did about your stint as Chairperson. Maybe you could talk more about what accomplishments you have achieved as the Chairperson, and how they will be relevant in that position?
4. "liaising with". The phrase "liaising between" may be more appropriate.
5. The use of tenacity in your last paragraph seems inappropriate to me. Capability or flexibility may be better.
6. I liked how you described your personality in the last paragraph, with phrases such as "inquisitive" and "creative". It gives your letter a more personable feel. Would it be better if you link this with your various experiences? I am not too sure about this, maybe the others can comment.
Ronnie
Hi Kenny,
ReplyDeleteYour letter is well written. However, I discovered some minor mistakes which I would like to point out to you.
1) The phrase ‘most delighted’ sounds very informal. A possible replacement could be ‘I am most interested…’
2) You might like to discuss how emerging as second runner up in the Biomedical Engineering Design competition could be useful for this job.
3) I think the comma after NUSSU CBLC is not needed. I am not sure though.
4) You might like to explain how you dealt with national authorities if it is significant.
5) ‘My previous working experience includes....’
6) ‘and love to solve intriguing ’. The word love doesn’t feel right here. Maybe ‘and have an inclination to solve’. Again this is just how I feel.
I think you have managed to bring across your personality in your last paragraph which is excellent.
Jon
Kenny!
ReplyDeleteReally good job here! You'll definitely get a call back =)
AS for (small) pointers to improve on:
1. I would agree with Ronnie's first point. You want to give them an impression that MOH has always been in the list of companies you intended to apply to, right? "Chance upon" does not give this impression.
2. I agree with his point 4 too.
3. and is currently the Chairperson of the NUS Students’ Union --> and am currently the Chairperson of the NUS Students’ Union
4. Wallenius Wilhelmsen, an international ship services -> Wallenius Wilhelmsen, an international (ship servicing)/(shipping service). I could be wrong about this but when I first read that line I found it a little odd.
5. during this stint, I managed to develop my communication skills while -> during this stint, I managed to develop my communication skills from
6. Hmm.. With regards to Ron's point 6, I prefer what Kenny's done. He has used that paragraph as a summary while also reinforcing who he is an a person. This too me was a smooth finish. Then again, this is just my opinion =)
Actualli I feel your apllication letter is way too long dear! try to cut down to one page if u can! remember they have millions of resumes to look at as well dear so make it short and sweet and direct. I like the way u stated how the skills u have learnt will help u be an effective person in the company if u get the job! well done dude! one of the best i have read so far! ;)
ReplyDeleteDid you get the position? Are you in MOH now?
ReplyDelete